I think it is super important to take the time to learn to enjoy the things your spouse enjoys. Paul gets off easy as my enjoyments are cooking and photography - who wouldn't love all things related to those subjects?!
Paul has done an excellent job at learning and enjoying my interests and it really makes life FUN that my husband enjoys the things I do and I can sit down and talk to him about what spices would go well with what kind of meat and I can show him the newest things I have learned with my camera and he gets it. In fact, he gets it so well a DSLR camera for him is next on our list of things to purchase. I LOVE that!!
I have a bit more of a challenge though, as Paul's interests are working out and other rugged, manly activities like mountain biking, kayaking and um. Skydiving. Not that he's done skydiving yet. But he plans on doing it and he thinks I am going to do it with him =)
Before we were married I had never touched a free weight, grunted in public under the strain of something heavy (actually, I had never grunted in public period.), or felt good about being sweaty.
A couple of months after we said I DO Paul signed us up for a gym membership and he introduced me to this strange world of physically exerting yourself by your own free will.
For the past 4 years I have shown various degrees of interest in working out with him. It was easy when we didn't have children - we could go to the gym whenever we wanted (now we need to wait for the nursery to be open!) and I wasn't in a state of constant exhaustion.
I didn't workout through either pregnancy and I asked Paul to leave me alone about working out for the first 6 months following the boys births, and he did.
Oddly enough, over the past few months of working out with Paul - and specifically the past three weeks where we have been serious about working out - I have truly developed an enjoyment for working out.
The point of this all-over-the-place post is this: take the time to learn your spouses hobbies and interests and learn to enjoy them. It's taken me 4 years to say that I truly enjoy working out - and I never would have thought I would say that I enjoy it! Start out by participating in your husbands hobbies because you enjoy being near him and doing things with him, and ask him to join you in your hobbies.
And for a specific date-at-home-while-children-sleep idea: One day Paul came home with a rose and, once the boys were down for a nap, told me we were going to spend the afternoon taking pictures of the rose with military/manly things. It was a cute idea and a fun at home date!
This is my favorite picture from that date:
I blew it up and framed it for his office.
What hobby of yours or your husbands can you enjoy together,and turn into a date?