5.27.2008

My Life in the Public Bathroom

Consider the above picture your warning... this post is about pee. :)

I have had my prenatal appointments every two weeks for what seems like forever. The appointments are pretty dumb, especially since they stopped doing the ultra sounds three appointments back. But I faithfully go, because that's what every responsible person does. Show up for doctor appointments.
At my doctors office they collect a urine sample *every single visit.* Or at least they try to. I only give them a sample every other appointment (so every four weeks.) The other times I tell them I don't have to pee, and they sigh and tell me to try at the end of my appointment. I agree "to try" and then sneak out of there before they can harass me about it.
I am convinced they only collect the urine samples because they are doing drug tests. And since I don't do drugs I don't think they need my urine.
And that aside - have you ever tried giving a urine sample?? My dad installed a true fear of sitting on public toilets in me from when I was quite little (yes, my dad. Not my mum. I'm not sure how he was always the one to take us into public rest rooms when we were little... but on top of instilling the 'correct way to pee in a public restroom' in me, he also taught me that it's the fathers job to run little kids into bathrooms. Paul has years of fun ahead of him :)
So anyways, back to the fear of sitting on toilets. I just can.not.do.it - I don't think I've ever sat on a public toilet.
I squat.
Which on its own is a challenge. But add to it a 30lb balloon between yourself and where you're suppose to hold the cup and it's just plain not fun. Add a 16 month old to the mix and you'd totally understand why I lie to the nurses and tell them I just don't need to go!

But today I was both baby free and bladder full. I thought I would do the nurses a favor and leave them a urine sample. So I do the whole awkward squat/balancing thing (the belly really does throw off ones sense of balance) and fill up the cup. I FILLED it people. I wanted to make up for past annoyances I might have caused the nurses.

And do you want to know something? There was a crack in my urine collecting cup. Out of the hundreds of cups the nurse had to pick from she'd handed me one with a crack. And I had filled that cup up.

It was not pretty.

My pee-strike is back on. Never again will that happen to me.


So a lesson for you all: check the urine collecting cup before you fill it.

19 comments:

mel said...

Bwahaha!!! GROSS! That is hilarious!!

Donna said...

Thanks for the reminder. I'll make sure and check the container from here on out! LOL

TammyIsBlessed said...

Too funny!

BTW - here's a tip I picked up on with my 3rd pregnancy already. Take a pee container home with you and fill it up at home the day you go in for your appointment. Ta da! No public toilet sitting, no 16 month old dancing around the stall with you - you still have the 30lb balloon to deal with but, hey, it's an improvement anyway!

Alyssa said...

May your pee-strike inspire other prego mamas around the world!

Great story, thanks.

I tagged you for a meme!

Fire Hunt said...

I know how you feel.I don't like public toilet sitting.

Josi said...

They collect your urine to check for protiens... There are certain ones that are very bad for your baby that you could require antibiotics for. Just incase it helps you to make that gross bthroom break every couple weeks!

The Rock Chick said...

OMG! LOL...that is too funny! That is totally something that would happen to me. My first OB/GYN had a "no kids" in the office rule. If you brought your kids with, you had to bring someone to watch them in the waiting room. I just never brought mine with me. Can't even imagine trying to pregnant pee while hanging on to a toddler. LOL

Julie said...

Great blog, great story! My worst is when I was just preggo with DD. My DS was about to turn two, thought he was all done waiting for me in the bathroom while I gave my sample so he left. Just opened the door to a hallway full of people and walked out. So not funny at the time.

~ Da Shiznit ~ said...

OMG! As many times as I have peed in a cup I have NEVER thought to check it for a crack before! Thanks for the warning!! LOL

Sandy said...

Pee Strike! Pee Strike! Pee Strike!
No longer will you be oppressed by the bathroom. No longer will that little cup hold power over you!
Strike!
LOL

Heather said...

I really enjoyed reading your story. It was too funny and I guess for all of us who have been to those appointments, we can totally relate. You have such a great sense of humor!

Danielle said...

hahaha, this is funny. Kinda gross, but funny! =)

Nicole said...

Oh boy... fun stuff!

yoismom said...

That's not your pee in the picture is it???


This is HIL-ar-I-ous!!!

Bethany said...

I have a fear of sitting on a public toilet as well. How gross to get a cracked cup! But you can bet your nurse was way more grossed out than you!

But I have to agree with Josi. They need a urine sample to check for proteins and sugars so they know you're not developing pre-eclampsia and stuff. Don't they check it right there in front of you with that little test strip? They did at my OBGYN and they also sent a cup home with me so I could pee in the comfort of my own bathroom. Oh, the pleasures of pregnancy...

Mel's Mom said...

ha ha ha. My poor girls were taught to pee while STANDING over the toilet seat while I held their hands (public toilets only!). I think teaching girls about public restroom use is just sooooo important because they are soooooo gross =)

Meagan said...

Hahaha! Mel knows I'm the queen of TMI, but one of my favorite lab days last semester we all had to pee in cups, then dye the urine and put it under a microscope. Totally cool. Some people were a little squeamish about doing it, but they wound up cooperating because they were lonely. :P

Bethany said...

Hahaha! That's almost as good as Paul's poop story. Almost.

Crystal said...

Haha, that's pretty funny. I hate peeing in cups, and goodness gracious I did it enough during our TTC days. I hate public restrooms too, and usually only use ones at my dr's and dentist's office (and only because my nerves make my bladder go nuts).

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