Dear Mum

Dear mum,

This apology comes late, but it is only in the past year that I have realized an apology such as this is due.

I am sorry for those nights that I didn't sleep all the way through. Or the times that I just *would not* go to sleep in the first place. Or the times I thought it was cool to start the day before the sun had risen. I have realized the error of my way, but for some reason I'm still not sleeping through every night, I sometimes cannot go to sleep, and while I don't find it cool to start my day before the sun rises, I sometimes have no choice.

I'm sorry for the times you told a stranger that I could say a certain word or do a certain thing and then I proceeded to sit mute and still like I was the stupidest baby in the world. Making you look like the stupidest mother in the world.

I'm sorry for the times I begged for that beloved chocolate or cookie or candy or icecream that you were enjoying in a 'mum moment.' I'm sorry for thinking that mum's weren't people -That you lived to play the same games over and over and that you loved to read the same page of the same book eight times in a row because I liked the picture and wouldn't let you turn the page.
I'm sorry I made you sing the chorus to my favorite child's song for the amount of time it took us to drive somewhere. In fact I'm sorry I ever made you sing any children's songs. I now think most of them are ridiculously dumb and should never have been written in the first place. But it's a little late for that…

I'm sorry I wasn't born potty trained. I'm sorry I didn't politely give you a warning when diarrhea was about to strike so that I wasn't just wearing a lone diaper likely to leak. Everywhere.
I'm sorry I pooped at inconvenient times – like in the long grocery line or just after the sign that says "No More Exits For 30 Miles."

I'm sorry I ever had a thought in my head that was different than yours. I'm sorry for not realizing that mums know a whole lot more than one in diapers and that when you told me not to stand on the chair it's because you saw me falling off it. Or that when you told me not to close the door with my fingers in the door frame it's because you knew my fingers would be pinched. And I am *very, very* sorry for ever having had a temper tantrum or that I tried to run the other direction from you while we were in public. Shame on me for ever embarrassing you in public.

I'm sorry that I always wanted to share your shower, your bath, your bed, your seat, your fork, your drinking glass, your shoes and your telephone conversations. I'm also sorry I wanted to share my food with you – chewed and un-chewed, digested and undigested.

I hope you will accept this most humble – and newly realized – apology.

Love,

Jessica