My Baby Was One Up-ped

Life amuses me. People in life amuse me even more.

Today I was reading through my BABYTALK magazine and there was an article on "One-upmomship" - basically, mothers bragging on their own little ones to other mothers. I read the article and found it humorous. I have never met another mother like that, and I even thought to myself "Thank goodness I have never come across a mother like this!"

I thought too soon.

When Paul came home from work we all went down to check the mail. Well, he checked the mail. Judah and I waited for him. Another couple and their baby were out doing the exact same thing.

What a coincidence. (totally stole that line from my Nigerian-wanna-be-husband! It's a good line.)

This couple introduces themselves and start chatting. They seemed sweet, and when Paul joined us the men kind of hovered on one side and us gals on the other side. That is when the "one-upmomship" showed her evil claws. It started with an innocent;

"So, is your son walking yet?"

My reply - "Nope! Not yet. He will stand on his own, but he's not interested in walking yet..."

Before I had a chance to ask her about her son she says "Oh, he's been walking since he's 7 months old. He's kind of ahead in a lot of things. I was that way too when I was a baby. So, does your baby have teeth?"

Me - "Yes, how about yours?"

Her - "Oh yes. He's had them forever. He has five teeth. Five! How many does your son have?"

Me - (wanting to say "enough to bite you with") responded with a more gracious - "He has two."

Her - "So does he talk? Does he ever say anything?"

Me - "His favorite word is 'da-da'"

Her (again, before I could say any more!) - "Oh, my son says a lot of words. Right now he says 'No' - and he gets this look on his face. He knows what 'no' means. He is so smart."

She then tries to get Judah to smile. He had an early nap today so was quite exhausted, and I told her just as much, but she kept trying. When Judah is tired and not wanting to sleep all he does is stare intently at people. I love my son dearly, so this is coming from a loving mother, but he really does look quite stupid and simple when he just stares at people so intently (really, I love my baby! :) I told her again that he just stares at people when he is tired, and will not crack a grin. She seemed a little weird about it, so I apologized to her that he wouldn't smile and she said (and I quote, word for word!)-

"That's ok... I'm sure he does have a personality I guess."

I liked this woman - I really did. Her baby is the exact same age as my baby (though, evidently light years smarter...) and she is pregnant again and due one month before me - we have lots in common! But I just did not get the 'one-upping' with everything. Maybe I was just overly sensitive - though I don't think so, because it didn't bug me, just struck me as really funny!

I should have asked her if her baby can poop as much as my baby. Because my baby had five dirty diapers today.

That is a talented baby.


Kathryn said...

"Because my baby had five dirty diapers today."

Well I certainly won't try to one-up you on that one! You can have that and 'wear' it proudly!

Bethany said...

HAHAHA!!! You should definitely one-up her on the diapers next time you see her.

The Rock Chick said...

Dont ya just hate those moms? They are the ones that write those Christmas letters, too. Oh and we traveled to Europe and Johnny got admitted to Albert Einstein pre-school....blah blah blah.

I love the diapers comment! Too funny!!!

with my 4 kids....one walked at 10 months and one started walking at 18 months. My son hardly spoke until he was 3 because the girls did all the talking for him. One had a tooth at two weeks and with daughter #3, I was terrified she had no teeth in there it took so long for them to come out!

And you know what..no matter what age they did what, they all have somehow progressed into snotty teenagers :) Yes, I love them with all my heart, too, but light years seem to fade when they reach 13-19 :) It all evens out! LOL


Sarge Charlie said...

but she has not let the world see her baby grow up, nany nany boo boo

Chelsea Rae said...

Mary was one upped today at church, the lady told me HER baby had three teeth and was pulling himself up by six months! I just kind of stared at her blankly and thought of you :)

You should have told that lady that you thought it was more fun to have a cute baby than a genius baby ;)

(not that I don't think Judah is smart... don't take it like that k?)

Anonymous said...

LOL! Gotta love moms like that right? Geez Jess, can't Judah do algebra on his own yet! You know, my Isaiah can read and he's only 4 months old...LOL =P

Bethany said...

Well my baby had six dirty diapers... So there. ;)

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Janean said...

Some people are SO tactless. I think you handled it very gracefully. :D
Hope you have a wonderful holiday!

Gayle said...

It doesn't get any better when the kids are older either. One of the mom's at my kids' bus stop does the same thing and I've learned not to bite. I just do as the penguins did in the movie "Madagascar"..."Just smile and nod, boys, smile and nod."

Rachel said...

Lol! This post made me laugh! Some day when you and this other mother are "best" friends you can laugh about this together. I loved the dirty diaper thing!

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