October 25

Paul left bright and early this morning - he had to be at the airport for FIVE in the morning!!! Many thanks to Josh for spending the night and driving him there this morning!! =)

I had another doctors appointment this morning. I got there and the receptionist told me I was seeing Dr. "X" - the same doctor I saw on Friday that I DID NOT LIKE. What are the chances? I have seen SO many doctors in the last two and a half weeks, and none of them twice - what are the odds that I would be seeing the one I don't like twice?? And twice in a row at that! I asked the receptionist if she could please let me see a different doctor... she was really nice, but said she couldn't get me to see anyone else that morning - but that she'd make note on my records for me to not see that doctor again!

I was kind of upset, but there wasn't much I could do about it - but as it turned out, I got a different doctor!!! HURRAY! Dr. "X" was so bogged down that another one was helping her out and seeing some of the patients!!!
So this other doctor checked me out and such, and then called the high risk doctor - I always have to see the high risk doctor before they'll let me leave now!
I had met this particular high risk doctor before, and absolutely love him! He was really pleased with how well things are going, and said to continue taking it as easy as I am.
I was able to ask him about future pregnancies, and he said that although he doesn't believe in the "once a cerclage always a cerclage" (his exact wording!!) he does think that because I had the "emergency cerclage" and "silent dilation" that I will need a cerclage for every pregnancy.
But, on a positive note, he doesn't think that other pregnancies will require so much care!! Because future cerclages will go in between 12 and 15 weeks they won't be considered "emergency" and therefore I won't be on bedrest!! Hurray - we may actually have more babies knowing that =) I can't imagine being like this with my own child to care for too... agh!

We (ok, mum!) got a little bit of packing done today - ornaments, books and picture albums! It is going to take a long, long time to get this place all packed up!

Doctors orders

I wish I looked like I was supposed to be on bed rest! Maybe if I had a cast, or had lots of swelling, or was purple and blue! It’s hard enough that I feel perfectly fine – it’s hard for me to remember to not lift things, or to not be on my feet to much, or walk to much, etc. But to be pushed around in a wheelchair while at Wal-mart (my weekly field trip!! =), and to have my mum- who uses a cane and walks with a limp- be the one stuck carrying things… I look like a brat!
Maybe I should wear a sign around my neck that says “The doctor ordered this!”

Paul is leaving early tomorrow morning for SRP – he’ll be gone till Thursday night. I am hoping he finds out all the information that we want to know!!!
Paul picked up some packing boxes for us today. Mum and I may start packing books and ornaments and little things like that tomorrow.

I have a craving for these boneless chicken wing type things that Uncle Rick and Aunt Laurie fed me when I was at their house a couple months ago.

Pregnant women be warned: don't try new foods that you're going to love if it's not easily attainable - it is a cruel form of self torture!

Pictures from the weekend!

Amanda and me
















The two love birds - and Nicholas! =)

















Nicholas dressed in his BDUs - I made them! =)

He spent Friday at drill with Paul.












Nicholas in front of one of the Army medic tents.















Nicholas in front of the Army vehichles.

"Military Wedding Vows"

Dear family and friends, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and the Department of the Army, to witness this exchange of vows, and see the love that these two dedicated, loving people have for one another.

"Wilt thou, __________, take ___________ (who will now be referred to as the "dependent"), as your family member, to dwell together in so far as the Department of the Army will permit?"
"Wilt thou love her, comfort her, via the postal service, email, or over the phone, make sure she knows where the commissary, PX, and church are, and what time she is scheduled to use the laundry room the day she arrives, wherever you are stationed?"
"Wilt thou attempt to tell her more than 24 hours in advance that you will be leaving for two weeks, beginning the next morning?" This especially applies to the years you will live in a foreign country!

"Wilt thou ____________, take this soldier as thy wedded husband, knowing that he is depending upon you to be the perfect (well almost) Army wife, running the household as you see fit, and being nice to the commander's wife?"
"Furthermore, you understand that your life with your husband (little that you may have together) will not be normal, that you may have to explain to your children, not once, but twice, and more often in the same day, that mothers do have husbands, and that children do have daddy's, and that the picture of the man on the refrigerator is not the milkman, but the same individual who tucks them in at 2200 hours, long after they are asleep. This soldier is their daddy, who loves them very, very much.
"Wilt thou love, respect and wait for him, preparing his favorite cookies and pictures of yourself and the kids, so he can remember what you look like?"
And last but not least, put on the outside of your door his "Welcome home" sign when he's due to arrive?"

"I, ____, take thee ____, as my independent wife, from 1900 to 2200 hours or as long as allowed by my Commanding Officer subject to change without notice), for better or worse, earlier or later, near or far, and I promise to look at the pictures you send me, maybe not when they get to me in the field, but before I turn the lights out. I will also send a letter, if time permits, and if not, to somehow, some way, make the time."

"I, _________, take thee _________ as my live-in/live-out husband, realizing that your comings and goings and 0330 staff meetings are normal (although absurd to me) and part of your life as a soldier. I promise not to be shocked or taken by surprise when you inform me that, although we've just arrived at our new duty station, we will be leaving within the month. Yes, I'll have you as my husband as long as while your are away, my allotment comes through regularly, and that you leave me a current power of attorney and the checkbook at all times. I am a family member and proud of it, dependent upon myself and my resources. Although I miss you when you are away, I know I can handle whatever comes across my path."

"Now then, let no man or woman put asunder what God and the Department of the Army have brought together. The Army hereby issues you this lovely, dedicated, independent woman, knowing that she'll be an asset not only to your marriage, but also to the mission of the United States Army, which is, as you all know, to remain in a state of "Readiness."

By the authority vested in the Bible, elaborated in the regulation and subject to current directives concerning the aspects of marriage in the Army, you are now a Soldier with a Family Member. Best Wishes and good Luck."

The Military Wife

I found this online and liked it. It made me cry, but then almost anything can make me cry these days!

-I would like to recognize these often underestimated, unseen, and unheard heroes.

This is for the young women that are waking up at 6 a.m. every morning, laying out clothes and packing three lunches for those small precious children that they have been left alone to care for.

This is for the pregnant Military wife wondering if her husband will make it home in time to watch their miracle happen.

This is for the childless Military wife, living in a town or on a base alone where she is a complete stranger to her surroundings.

This is for the women that feel like a third leg when they go out with their friends and their husbands.

This is for the Military wife that canceled all her plans to wait by the phone, and even though the phone broke up and cut off every time you spoke to him you waited anyway.

This is a pledge to the women that cry themselves to sleep in an empty bed.

This is to recognize the woman that felt like she was dying inside when he said he had to go, but smiled for him anyway.

This is for those of you that are faithfully in that long line at the post office once a month, handling 2 large boxes and 2 small children like a pro.

This is for that woman that decided to remodel the house to pass time, and then realized that she had no idea what she was doing and sighed and wished she had a little help.

This is for all the lonely nights, all the one-person dinners, and all of the wondering thoughts because you haven't heard from him in days.

This is for the sad Military wives, the angry Military wives, and the strong Military wives.

A toast to you for falling apart, and putting yourselves back together.

Because a pay check isn't enough, a body pillow in your bed is no consolation, and a web cam can never compare.

This is for all of you no matter how easy or hard this was for you.
Our soldiers/sailors are brave, but so are we.

So the next time someone tells you that they would never marry a Military guy, don't bother explaining to them that you can't control who you fall in love with.
Just think of this and nod your head, know that you are the stronger woman.

Hold your heads up high, hang that flag in your front yard, stick 100 magnets on your car, and then give yourself a pat on the back.

Be proud to be the woman that you are, be proud to be an Military wife!

Saturday, October 21

Mum has decided to stay another week! Hurray! Between Paul's pure adoration for her homemade chili and her fear that I will do too much - she was easy enough to convince to stay on another week!!
Paul is working a second job so he is INSANELY busy, and to top it off his SRP is this week, and he needs to travel out of state for that, so he will be gone Wednesday and Thursday of this week. It will be nice to have mum here to keep me company, drive me to my appointments and do the grocery shopping for another week =)

Amanda and Craig came to visit this week - woohoo!! They got here Thursday evening and just left this morning. We didn't get to spend tons of time together as they went to see a Leafs game in Columbus on Friday, and spent most of the day out there waiting in line for tickets =) But we had the evenings and mornings together - I can't wait for them to be married so we can go visit them together in Scotland!! =)

We don't know too much more about us moving - Paul will find out more things this week while at SRP. We do know that the army won't give orders for me to move with him right away, so it looks like I will be at my parents for the month of December. It looks like we're going to have to start collecting moving boxes ... it does not sound like fun packing up an apartment of stuff (to be put in storage for an unknown amount of time!) while in the middle of a high risk pregnancy. I won't be able to do ANYTHING - just sit and watch people pack up for me... I think I'll camp out at #8 while that happens =) I will be too tempted to get involved.

A lot of things are going to be happening over the next 40 days!



Random movie quote of the day:

"If you're going to act like that, how are we going to know when you really are going senile?"
- Corner Gas, season 3

Nicholas is here to visit!

Nicholas2, originally uploaded by pandjmorris.

I got my flat person in the mail today - HURRAY!!! =) We are going to have to get creative about things to 'do' with Nicholas since I am stuck on partial bedrest.
Our 'introduction' letter (from a student named - what else? Nicholas!) says that he is 8 years old and in third grade.
He likes to 'shoot my bo ane arro' !! =)
Nicholas is from Arizona, so we need to introduce him to wonderful COLD Ohio... the first thing is taking Nicholas to my (FOURTH!!) ultrasound tomorrow - we already know the babies gender, but not many people do know, so Nicholas will be one of the privileged few that know!

Friday, Oct 13

I can't seem to go a day without something happening. Thankfully todays ordeal wasn't such a big deal. It was scary, but everything was ok!
I started bleeding again today and called the nurse and she said to come in right away... so we did. The doctor who did the exam said that I have a 'fried uterus' - meaning it is irritable and sensitive and that it will bleed when it is too irritated, and that having had the surgery and stitches in place means that it will be very sensitive and I'll likely bleed lightly quite frequently.
BUT baby is fine and everything else that's suppose to be in me is in proper place and doing it's job! Yay!

Another positive thing about this hospital visit: we were able to get doctors orders saying I am on restrictive bed rest, which is a letter that could be helpful with the Army drama.

He will be our guide

When we got married we picked a verse to go on our wedding invitations that we thought would be a good 'blanket verse' for our marriage.
The one we chose was Psalm 48:14;

"For this God is our God, forever and ever.
He will be our guide even unto death."

There are a lot of great thoughts and promises in that verse.
First and foremost that God is our God forever - He's never gone, He never leaves us. As confusing and hard and hurt as we may be He is still there and He is still God and He is still in control.
Then the promise that He will guide us - through good and through bad the hand of God can be seen. He guides and directs and carries us through, even when we don't understand or know where we are going.
And He does that even unto death. Until the end of our lives. Until we join Him in heaven. He will guide us.

That verse has taken on a whole new and special meaning the last several days. We aren't just dealing with the complications of a high risk pregnancy right now.
On Monday we found out that Paul has been mobilized and the Army is moving him to Georgia December 3. We don't know too many details about it right now so I won't say too much more, but it adds a whole new series of complicated twists as the Army won't move me there too and if I moved on my own I wouldn't be able to live with Paul until his training was over (we think that would be January) so I am thinking of moving back to my parents, but we don't know if the Army health insurance would cover me up there as I can't use the Ontario Health Insurance as I haven't lived there for the past three months.
At the end of this month Paul goes away for a couple of days where he's suppose to find out more and be able to ask questions, so we'll know more then. Until then, we wait. And not so patiently at times!

Wednesday October 11

The appointment today went well - they found an infection in my urine (Strep B) so they have me taking Amoxicillin for that - but appearantly it is a common thing in pregnant women (my google search says %30 of pregnant women test positive for it.)
We listened to the babies heartbeat, I got poked a lot, and we were able to ask lots of questions. I can't say it enough: I love the doctors at Metro.

Amanda sent me this verse this morning:

Pslam 22:9-10
Yet You brought me out of the womb;
You made me trust in You
even at my mother's breast.
From birth I was cast upon You;
from my mother's womb You have been my God.

We have both been amazed at the amount of people praying for us and the baby - and too at the sense of peace God has given us about this situation. He knows everything that is going on with the pregnancy - how awesome it is to know the Creator of life, and to have the ability to take this to Him in prayer. And that others can do that too. We are so grateful for all the prayers and love and support from everyone.

Tuesday update

We spent three hours back in the hospital early this morning - 3am - 6am. I thought I might have been contracting and was having pains.
They hooked me up to a moniter and examined me and did a blood test. The moniter and the exam were both ok and didn't show anything abnormal.
The blood test however showed a slight positive towards infection - but they decided that they would let me go home then, as it wasn't a conclusive test, and they'll just check me again soon.
Soon being tomorrow.
I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 10:00am at the high risk clinic. Hopefully they won't find anything.

Please pray

This weekend has been a whirlwind and a nightmare. Sunday morning I woke up (7:15AM) to find a little blood when I peed. Though neither Paul or I were overly concerned we thought we’d better go into the hospital just to make sure that everything really was ok.

They took me into a room and the nurses took blood samples and a urine sample, did a Doppler and asked tons of questions. The dr then came in and he did an ultra sound and thought everything looked fine. He got his superior and that dr thought everything looked ok too. There was a med student in the room the whole time and she put a speculum in and took a look inside me - I could tell something was wrong as she jumped out of her seat pretty quickly and gave the doc ‘the look.’ I wish I had missed that look. It did nothing to make me feel comfortable or at ease about the situation. The dr took a look and said that my cervix had dilated to somewhere between 2 and 3 cm and that my fluid membrane had gone down into my vaginal canal.

They very quickly moved me over to high risk, set me up in a special bed where my feet were up above my head, hooked up an IV, did a second ultra sound and continued monitoring me for the next 8 hours. They wanted to give my body the opportunity and time to have the membrane return to where it should have been, and they didn’t want to do too much to me at once and risk an even higher chance of premature labor.

We had oodles of doctors coming in to see me - one to discuss the procedures that would be happening to me. The anesthesia doctor to discuss the risks and side effects of the spinal that they would need to do to me. Another one to discuss my options. Did we want an amnio? Did we want a cerclage? So many decisions to make. Then there was the surgeon. It was a lot to take in in a very short amount of time.

We decided that we did not want an amnio. The surgeons would not have done the cerclage had the amnio showed any bacteria or infection (the membrane dropping increased the odds greatly that there would be bacteria). If the cerclage wasn’t done then there was less than .5% that the baby could survive. I wanted the doctors to do absolutely everything to save the baby. So we decided to just have the cerclage done.

The nurses wheeled me into the operating room. What a cold, spooky place!! I have to admit though, for such a serious thing, the drs and nurses had me totally at ease and it was a very comfortable environment. We talked throughout the whole procedure - they showed me the needle they used for the spinal (AFTER it had gone in me!) and they also showed me the size of the thread used for the suture, the needle they used and the tool used to hold the needle. It was fascinating. I couldn’t have gotten nicer drs or nurses had I gotten to pick them all out myself.

For the next hour and a half they had me hooked up to tons of machines and kept a very, very close eye on me.
About 8:30 pm they decided that the surgery had gone really well. There were a lot of risks going in to the surgery, and God took care of us and guided the drs.

They moved me into a much more comfortable room for the night. Esther and Paul hung around till 11:30, then I was left on my own to sleep. I didn’t sleep very well - with bathroom breaks and nurse check ups throughout the night.
When the dr came to see me in the morning he said I was ok to go home today! Paul and Esther picked me up just after 10am, and I am now stuck at home, just playing a waiting game really. There are still so many risks. The surgery may have aggravated things and my water could break and I go into premature labor. There could be an infection. The stitch might not hold things.

So that is the weekend in a nutshell. It has been quite crazy and rather intense. We are just waiting and praying.
I don’t see a dr for two weeks - I am suppose to just take things easy, not lift anything - not quite bed rest, but still pretty restrictive - for the next two weeks. Then the dr will reevaluate and see what needs to happen next.

Just bloggin'

Esther is on her way!!! Hurray!!! Poor girl has been sick all week and called this morning (bright and early!) to say she wouldn't be able to make it. Then just after lunch she called back to say she was feeling a lot better so she'd be coming after all! HURRAY! It'll be a fun weekend =)

Paul is such a funny dude. Wednesday night he made some really yummy chocolate cookies - from scratch, with a 'made-up' recipie. It was quite impressive. On Thursday he took a huge plate of the cookies in to work and told the guys at work that I had made them for them!! (Which I didn't have a single part in those cookies - I didn't even lick the bowl clean, I was fast asleep when he made them!!) Evidently I need to step up my job as wifey and start baking things for his work buddies =) The plus side to this is that there's a group of guys at Metro who think I am a great cookie maker =)

Another piece of exciting news: We are going to get to 'host' a flat person. A teacher friend wants to educate her after school group of kids on different parts of the country/world so she is having her students make little paper doll type people - 'flat people.' The flat people will be mailed out to people all over the country/world. Then we, the hosts, have to take the flat person with us and take pictures of the flat person in different places and keep a journal of the 'adventures' the flat person has with us! And then after a couple weeks it'll all get mailed back to the students. I am so excited, I think it is such a brilliant idea!! =) I can't wait to 'meet' my flat person =)

Our four days in Stouffville

The past few days were so much fun! Wednesday evening Paul and I headed up to my parents (arriving at two in the morning! Oops!!). We stayed until Sunday afternoon and had a very busy and very fun time seeing everyone, going to the fair, and helping celebrate Esther's birthday! =)

The bride to-be! Amanda's got the coolest dresses planned out for her bridesmaids! =) I am excited! We spent Thursday night at the mall, then went to the Mongolian Grill (a place we use to frequent on occassion together, and somewhere Paul had never been. Poor guy, he put up with a lot of wedding talk!!!) Then we went to look at a place I thought would be so pretty for her summer wedding pictures - though we were there at 9:30 pm so it was very hard to see, but I think she liked it :) I think I was helpful :) Hurray!

On Friday we met Grandpa and Grandma Crowe in Orangeville - halfway between their house and my parents. We went to Swiss Chalet - mmm yum! I had been craving their food! We had a nice visit together. Later that afternoon Paul and I went to the Nummy's house to pick up some baby things they had for us - they had everything!! :) We got an infant car seat, a stroller, a playpen, a booster seat and some blankets! It's so exciting!

Saturday Caleb, Essie, Paul and I spent the day at the fair (though we lost Caleb to his cooler-then-us friends) It got SO cold and wet nearer the end of the day, so we didn't stay for the Monster Truck show or the fireworks, but we had fun walking through the exhibits, watching the bike show and the horse show and eating all the samples! =)